What about George Feb. 27, 1986


 


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Thoughts of death and dying Feb. 2, 1986

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    Well, my play/sitcom came off better than I expected. While some people may be lying to me in order to make me feel better about what might be a national disaster, I wasn’t quite as embarrassed as I thought I’d be. I’m not quite ready to hear the truth, however, and so avoided people like Michael who I knew would give it to me unvarnished and with no regard for my feelings. The play was one of those idiotic exercises in writing I engage in in order to teach myself how to develop a plot. The characters were shallow and the emotions unbelievably mushy. The only parts that worked for me involved the comedy. Fortunately, the festival had worse. Yet sitting through it and watching the other plays was a strangely uplifting experience. Even the best of the lot (which was not mine) showed that misdirected emotions could be worse than shallow efforts like mine. My play has other flaws that will take time and experience to cure. Some of the other plays have fundame...
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Missing Fran Feb. 7, 1986

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  I dreamed of Fran last night. The pain of last year’s break up settles I my chest like a bad cold, never bad enough to put me in the hospital, but it won’t go away either. I keep hoping she’ll come back when I know she won’t. Not that I really want this consciously, Three years being with her is a long time, as is the year apart holding hope for a reunion that can’t possibly take place. I have to come to accept that she is a hippie, someone who clings to an already outdated belief system I long ago abandoned for something more practical. But as much as Fran is an advocate for all that peace and love stuff of the 1960s, she is also an extremely angry person, capable of exploding in rage, a five-foot-tall bundle of dynamite that at times has scared the shit out of me. At times, she comes across as a little girl, full of a little girl’s passion, and full of little girl’s pain, while at other times, she is the most adult person I know. Some meanspirited people claim she...
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That second freak out March 3, 1986

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    I talked about Mone yesterday and how she saved me when I freaked out on acid. But she did not long remain our friend, While my drug of choice was LSD, hers was cocaine, and she had more than one freak out of her own -once, when Hank and Bill Capella (the lone survivor of the building the Weather Underground blew up by accident) came visiting. Louise was pregnant, Bill was already nervous because the FBI was looking for him, wanting him to identify those who were in the building when it blew up. He would have hid out in New Jersey, but business forced him to come into Manhattan. Bill was a trooper who had been part of a number of merry Garleyland adventures, including the infamous trip to the shore in 1969. He had not wanted to go into the Weatherman’s building, but a friend and grabbed his hand and practically dragged him up the stairs. When he got there, he saw people sitting around a table full of bombs, and they were smoking pot. He decided it was not hea...
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