A D Journal 1986

    It was Bob’s day in old Fotomat – non regulation, of course, and quite absurd. Planning a party for him in his area without his knowing it, is like setting off a bomb and not expecting anybody to notice. The question is just how much did he know in advance and how much was actually a surprise? I’ve got a feeling that there is more to this than many people are willing to admit. He knew, for instance, where the party was scheduled to take place. We couldn’t hold the event in Passaic without every dirty old man coming over from the go go bars to watch. But how did Bob know about the stripper the staff hired for the party? It is not something he could have easily guessed – not with all the born again people involved in planning the party. To tell you the truth, the whole thing startled me as well – especially Bob’s reaction. I should not have been. Rumors about Bob have circulated for some time. Chris once claimed she suspected Bob of having AIDS, hinting h...

  I more or less got a Valentine’s Day card from Louise, coached as “I’m sorry I haven’t written in so long,” card. Of course, the card implied a complex of things unsaid. It’s not that Louise is utterly obvious all the time, but when she finally gets down to writing, she has a pack of unstated reasons that tend to show up eventually in the text like a laundry list. And this letter/card was no exception, containing a certain edge I’d not expected. Late last year, Rich, her lover/boyfriend had called me to ask about her past, feigning innocence while dropping it in the middle of what might otherwise have been an innocuous conversation, mean spirited when I thought about it more – how dare he called her ex-husband to ask things like that. It felt like a federal inquiry. He said he loved her and wanted to build a life around her, but wanted to know what she was “really” like. After all the chaos I recently engaged with her, including welfare and other things, I was almos...